The Paradox of Haiti
We have finally arrived in Haiti. It's really hard to describe Haiti. It is exactly like you see on tv, and nothing like you see on tv. It continues to be a country plagued by violence, political unrest, unemployment, hunger, and abject poverty. This has lead to a culture of dishonestly as a coping strategy, on large and small scales. There is a desperation that gives way to crime. There are kidnappings for ransom. People are robbed. Homes are guarded with armed men. You don't go out on the . . .
Stressed
I'm finding myself a wee bit stressed about our upcoming trip to Haiti. I was distracted and travelling a lot over the past two weeks. Yesterday, I turned in grades at Vanguard and then launched a blog with my friends. Two big hurdles done, and now my brain is ready to think about our upcoming trip. The gravity of the situation is hitting me like a ton of bricks. The country is in a desperate state.I find myself worrying about some things that are a bit disturbing to think through:what if there . . .
Is yours the black kid?
It's always funny seeing people trying to be PC about our transracial family. It's like everyone is scared to say the word "black" or describe him in those terms. I am constantly chuckling to myself when people will say, "is that your son over there, with the blue shirt, and jeans?" or "is your son the one with dreadlocks?". Particularly because in most scenarios here in vanilla OC, he is the one-and-only black child in a 20-mile radius. So why does it seems so weird just to cut to the chase and . . .
getting closer!
This week, we filled out the application to officially adopt Jafta. We have been waiting to do this for three years. I can't tell you how exciting this is. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the name "Jafta Jordan Howerton" on an official document. All his life, his doctor's records, school forms, passport . . . everything has been under a different name, which was always a pianful reminder that he was not "ours". To see his name with "Howerton" typed behind, was just beautiful.It should be . . .
Parenting with Fear
I was recently reading the blog of another woman adopting from Haiti, and she was describing what it was like to find out she could not adopt a child she was caring for. She described that experience in a painful, honest way that gave me a serious gut check:When we had Sophia with us in May and June, an interesting thing happened.Once we learned that she would not ever be available for adoption it became harder to take care of her. Shallow? Unloving? Immature? Maybe, probably, yes - to all . . .
Living in the Moment
Being present in my daily life is a constant challenge for me. I tend to spend my time fretting about the future or grieving certain events in the past. But right now, I am having one of those beautiful seasons where I am just enjoying my family right where they are, who they are, today. Jafta's adoption is moving forward, and it's less of a concern. His developmental stuff is on-track and there is no more concern over any delays. He is talking up a storm and I love his emerging personality. . . .
A TPR. Finally. Again.
At court this morning the judge terminated the birthparents’ parental rights! This was a huge court decision and one we have been waiting for to confirm that we could adopt Jafta. This names us as prospective adoptive parents officially. We are back where we were in December 2005 . . . only two years later! Hopefully things can move quickly from this point. We have to wait 60 days to find out if an appeal is filed. Believe it or not, yes, this could happen again, but hopefully things were done . . .
India has a Haitian Twin. Introducing . . .
We are officiall matched with the little boy we met in Haiti and were so hoping to adopt. His dossier was just submitted with ours. Our paperwork is in Hatian's social service system, and it will probably be next year before we find out if they approve us. Haiti is a volatile place right now, so we are hoping and praying this adoption will move forward despite a corrupt government.Our little boy shares a birthday with our daughter India. They will both turn one next month on October 6th. Here . . .
Stay Away, and Things Happen
Finally! A hearing! Of course, it happened while we were in Seattle. We debated over canceling our trip and then decided that the only way the hearing would actually happen is if we didn’t wake up at the crack of dawn and drive to LA.Anyways, we are so excited to share that things are finally looking good. The judge did the arraignment and disposition on the same day, and set a trial for the TPR (termination of parental rights) on Sep. 24th. She waived the usual 120 day wait. We are again . . .
A Day in the Life at Family Court
Once again, we drove to the courthouse this morning to find out that there was no hearing. Apparently one of the attorneys was out for the day, and our attorney "forgot" to tell us. It's cool. We love taking time and pay off work, hiring sitters, waking at the crack of dawn, and driving the scenic 710 to Los Angeles a couples times a month. They are most likely going to reschedule for August 9th (Mark's birthday), and we have a trip to Seattle planned for that week. So we'll be biting our nails . . .
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