Like many of you, I watched the video of a child falling into a gorilla habitat in horror, especially as he was dragged around a body of water like a ragdoll by his foot. I am still stunned that the child did not to drown or suffer any life-threatening injuries. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to be that mom. And as I heard her voice calling out her son thaf “mommy’s right here,” just trying to offer him comfort in the midst of that trauma, I felt so much empathy for her.
Evidentially much of the collective internet did not feel so much empathy for this mom. I have seen people saying she should have been shot. That she should have been made to live in the gorilla habitat herself. I’ve seen many, many suggestions that she never should have had kids.
Here is the thing. I have something in common with this mother. Like her, I had four children in a small window of time, which meant I had a lot of little kids at once. Looking at her family photo, I resonate with the insanity of that stage of life. You are completely outnumbered and despite your best intentions, sometimes things go awry, simply because you have more kids than hands.
I have had a toddler walk out of the house and into the street. I have had a kid sneak into a neighbor’s backyard and jump on their trampoline. I’ve had a kid fall into a pool. I have had a kid get lost at a theme park. I’ve had a kid fall off a bicycle and into a busy street. Ive had a kid unstrap their car seat while I was driving. I’ve had kid bolt and run off into an area they shouldn’t be in. I’ve had a kid climb up something they shouldn’t while attending to another child. Fortunately for me, in all of those instances, nothing horrible happened, whether by a result of my own reflexes or by the help of a concerned bystander.
I am appalled at the notion that, should my kids have been harmed in any of these situations, that I would have been blamed. That the collective armchair parents of the Internet would circle like vultures to question my abilities as a parent, or suggest I should be hurt, or that my kids be taken away.
If you have been a part of the collective pile-on towards his mother, I hope you will reconsider. This kind of sanctimonious blaming does nothing for struggling mothers, and creates a hostile environment for parents with children. This could have happened to any mother of four kids. Instead of figuring out how it’s her fault, let’s figure out how to be a society that watches out for each other.
Yes, yes, yes! I've been to this zoo with children many times, and it really would only take a second for a determined child to go over the railing they have in place there. Thankful for the sane voices beginning to speak out in defense of a mother who has to already be suffering from the trauma of that incident. Her composure while calling to her son was nothing short of amazing!
Thank you, Kristen!!!! Well-said!
Why do people feel the need to be straight-up mean? We're supposed to be tolerant of anything & everything, but not of people making innocent mistakes when they're doing the best they can?
This world makes me weary!
There but for the grace of God go most of us.
Yes. Yes. Yes. (And just for equal opportunity armchair parenting blame, why doesn't anyone say mean things about the dad?!)
Agree 1000%
I have been lucky that my incidents have not resulted in tragedy. Show me a mom who hasn't had a child take off or had a close call. We are human–accidents do happen!
Maybe DONT have so many kids at once…hows that. Children need TONS of devotion. Haveing several children doesnt allow you to do that for all of them at the same its simole inpossible as you orobably already know. You wrote because of inner guilt in my guesstimation.
Amen. You NEVER know, so don't judge. I cannot imagine what she felt at that time…
My main concern about the whole thing is that the enclosure was accessible to a small child. I think the zoo should have taken better precautions, and I hope all zoos take it into consideration
THANK YOU! No truer words. One mother's children are part of our future society. Let's all have vested interest in being part of "the village".
Yeeeeesssssss!!!! Exactly
I must admit I kind of felt like you – there but for the grace of God go I. However, I recently read the mother's response and she NEVER apologizes or even mentions the gorilla. Not one word of remorse for the death of that amazing endangered animal. I get it: it can happen to any of us. But to take no responsibility is not ok. Just my opinion.
Amen!the conclusion says it all!
Amen!the conclusion says it all!
I don't blame the mom but the zoo should have had safety features in place to avoid this. After all it has happened before as we all know!
I don't blame the mom but the zoo should have had safety features in place to avoid this. After all it has happened before as we all know!
Thank you, beatifully written. I can't imagine what she was feeling.
Yes! (Mom of two- yet still, one of those two has run into traffic, run off, juggled knives, and nearly choked on any number of objects.) We need to be the village, for all our sanity!
Well you ass should have been a little more attentive as well!! Damn, I was a single mother of four, and had one that was a fircracker, so I knew I had to keep double eyes on her at all times and now I have a grandson that inherited the same trait, we keep him close and 10 pair of eyes!! Going out in public with that many small kids, fyi, ain't no way in hell it took him a blink of an eye so stop saying that shit!
Well you ass should have been a little more attentive as well!! Damn, I was a single mother of four, and had one that was a fircracker, so I knew I had to keep double eyes on her at all times and now I have a grandson that inherited the same trait, we keep him close and 10 pair of eyes!! Going out in public with that many small kids, fyi, ain't no way in hell it took him a blink of an eye so stop saying that shit!
Can I add some positives about big families? I am the youngest of six and I love it! I have always loved being part of a big family. My parents probably had all these experiences and more but what I remember about my childhood is all the fun we had. I wouldn't change a thing.