I am a disappointed, bewildered, angry mother who’s daughter has been shut out of a youth sport. I never thought enrolling my 8 year old daughter on February 1st for spring lacrosse, would be considered late, but it is was. I sent an e-mail asking for my daughter to be added to the waitlist. Here’s what I got:
“I will put her on the waitlist but, unless someone drops out there will not be room for your daughter.”
That was it, clearly no room for negotiating. Town lacrosse for girls begins in third grade. I thought youth sports were supposed to be fun and inclusive, a chance for young kids to be exposed to various sports. In fact, the girls lacrosse website in my town says its “mission is to promote girls lacrosse in an environment that emphasizes fun, while developing skills, teamwork, good sportsmanship and integrity.”
I am taking full blame for my tardiness in regards to enrollment, but my 8 year old daughter shouldn’t be the one to pay the price. My son has never been turned away from a sports organization in town, even if I’ve been late to sign him up. I am a firm believer in sports providing a strong component in young girls make-up. It doesn’t feel like the ‘gatekeeper” of girls lacrosse in town sees it that way. I understand teams get to maximum capacity, but this is third grade. I’ve never played lacrosse, but I’d be willing to help if the program’s short on coaches.
I would like to think the program would open its arms to all willing girls, in hopes of making them strong women down the line. 70% of kids drop out of organized athletics by age 13. At a time when youth sports are seeing kids drop out in droves, it’s a dangerous thing to be turning them away before they even begin.
The Changing The Game Project says it best; “coaches, you need to wise up as well. You are the gatekeepers of youth sports, the people who play God, and decide who gets in, and who is kicked to the curb. You know the incredible influence of sport in your life, so stop denying it to so many others.”
To the woman who shut my daughter out, what would you have hoped be done if this was your daughter? I would like to think you would want someone to handle your case with a wee bit of compassion, knowing not all moms are super organized. As a the mother of a daughter, looking to gain confidence through sports, I beg of all you at the gate, let our daughters in. For so many reasons, the world will be a better place.
You say you take full responsibility for being late, but you clearly are not, since you are not wanting to accept the consequences of your actions. Part of team sports is working well with other people and following the rules of the game. Those are two things that you are not teaching your daughter with your behavior in this situation. I thought by the title that you had been discriminated against in some way. I'm disappointed to see that you just thought it was acceptable to publicly complain that exceptions weren't made for your unwillingness to follow clearly posted rules.
I totally understand your frustration and it is hard when you aren't able to sign up for an activity that you think will positively impact your child. I'm sure the organizer is in a tough spot too. If the deadline was January 31 and you emailed on February 1, it would be surprising that she couldn't show a little compassion. If the deadline was December 31, well maybe she is just telling you the truth that it is too far past the deadline and it is unlikely a spot will open up. Maybe there's a lot of other kids on the wait list. It's frustrating but this is perhaps a good opportunity to explain to your child that you apologize, you missed the deadline and in life deadlines are important for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they are deadlines that seem silly to us but they usually exist for a reason and although we often can still find wiggle room, when it's not possible there's just going to be a bit of disappointment until there's a chance to try again. Team sports make strong women but admitting when you make a mistake and handling the consequences of the mistake, whether its missing a deadline or otherwise, also makes a strong woman.
This title is misleading. There was no intentional "shutting out." The mother simply missed the enrollment deadline.
There are many valid reasons for any sports league to limit the number of participants. I'm sure this woman's daughter would be permitted to participate next time as long as she enrolls her timely.
I'm not quite sure that I understand your argument. You take accountability (sort of) for not attending to the enrollment date when clearly everyone else did and managed to sign their daughters up before lacrosse filled. Your child is not being punished. This is no one's responsibility except yours, and certainly not the woman who you "call out" in this piece. I put the enrollment dates of my daughter's activities in my calendar with alarms set to remind me. That's one strategy.
Just my two cents, but that seems like a perfectly reasonable response from the organizer. If you are truly taking responsibility for your tardiness, your daughter not being enrolled is the result.
This is an April fools joke, right?