Today was the first time in a very, very, very long time that we have all been home with nothing on the schedule. And when I say nothing on the schedule, I mean nothing besides sorting donations and packing suitcases and buying last-minute supplies and treating our clothes with insect repellant and checking the passport status website every five minutes.

You know. A free day.

Once again, thanks to our amazing friends and a pleading status update on Facebook, we have four huge suitcases full of supplies to take to Haiti. This pretty much makes up for all of the time I have wasted on Facebook over the last year. (Mark, please do not comment on that sentence).

The last time I took a small child to Haiti, I was worried about spraying chemicals all over my cherubic young daughter, so I opted for using chemical-free bug spray. This is what happened:

This time, I will be going industrial-strength on the chemical bug spray. Today, I treated every piece of clothing AND the carseat with fabric bug repellant. Karis may grow a third arm after this trip, but she better not get a malaria-infected mosquito bite.

Speaking of pests, we had a little excitement at the house today. As Mark and I were working in the backyard, we heard a blood-curdling scream coming from the entryway of the house. This screaming was so piercing and so manic that I thought surely someone had been mortally wounded. Had India been impaled? Was there a drive-by shooting? Did a UFO land in the yard?

Um, no. This is how India screams any time she sees a fly/spider/bug/lizard. Today, it happened to be a lizard in the entryway. India continues to scream loud enough to bring the neighbors running, while I try to calm her down, and while Jafta sets about to catch the lizard. Jafta valiantly removed the lizard into the yard, but before I knew what was happening, I hear Jafta say, “Look, mommy, there is a worm there now!” I turn around to see something large, writhing on the floor. And before I can intervene, India sees it, and Jafta simultaneously realizes what’s going on. Time moves in slow-motion for a minute, as I try to hand-motion to Jafta to shut the hell up, and as he gleefully ignores me and announces to his sister (and all concerned neighbors): “It’s the tail! It’s the lizard tail! STILL MOVING!”

At this point, I feel my own blood-curdling scream forming in my throat, because this is quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever seen – this tail, moving on it’s own. Somehow, I managed to supress my terror, because the last thing I need is for India to see her own mom losing her marbles over something small and harmless.
I think she’s a little traumatized, though. After we put her to bed, I heard her screaming bloody murder, again. I went into her room, exasperated, wondering what could possibly be wrong. A moth? A fly? What?

“There’s a lizard, mommy! A lizard!”

IN THE ROOM, INDIA? There’s a lizard IN YOUR ROOM?

“No, mommy. Before. There was a lizard. Before.”

Okay. So just the memory is causing her to scream like she is being kidnapped or something. And now she is totally hypervigilant and scared of every little noise she hears. Seriously – I know phobias in children this age are fairly common. But she is killing me with the drama.

In other news of drama, we also have to go back to the airport, because I SPILLED WATER ALL OVER THE PAPER TICKET that we were issued for Karis. Because I am awesome,

Also, we have no passport yet. In the morning, I will make the trek up to LA, and sit there until I have one. Things might get ugly. But I’m gonna do my best not to scream.