Rage Against The Minivan

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Why I Hate My Husband

December 10, 2008

Grrr.

My husband just came back from the gym. He hasn’t been to the gym in, like, years. Remember how before I got crazy sickly pregnant, I was trying to run every day? And I was working my butt off, running even twice a day sometimes, trying to work my way up to three miles a day? And how it took me like a month to get to that point, and yet I was still sore and hurting and no where near a ten minute mile . . .

Yeah. So.

My husband goes to the gym tonight, runs three miles in less than thirty minutes, and then comes home and announces it like he just took the trash out. Again, he hasn’t worked out in years. And just decided one day that he’ll run three ten-minute miles.

Blech.

Not to mention, this is the guy who does absolutely no weight training whatsover and his arms look like this:

He’s the guy who eats an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s nearly every night by himself. And pretty much whatever else he feels like, whenever he feels like it.

When I get to heaven and get to ask the Big Guy all of my Big Questions, I may ask why he allowed so much suffering in Africa. Or why people are born with disabilities. Or why he allows parents to abuse their children.

OR I MIGHT JUST ASK WHY PEOPLE LIKE ME EAT HEALTHY EVERY DAY AND WORK THEIR ASSES OFF JUST TO TRY TO GET TO AN ACCEPTABLE WEIGHT WHILE OTHER PEOPLE DO NOTHING AND EAT EVERYTHING AND STAY SKINNY. WHY GOD WHY!?!?

Sure, maybe I should be feeling grateful right now. Grateful that he’s able to run at all after a bad accident and years of learning to walk again. Grateful that my husband has a rockin’ body. Grateful that his freakish muscle tone and metabolism probably mean he’ll be a healthy old man with a long life.

But right now, I’m mostly just bitter.

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Comments

  1. Jen says

    December 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    I hate him too.

  2. Rachel says

    December 10, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    This is cracking me up!
    I don’t get it; it has to be his metabolism…but those are some great questions to ask God!!!

  3. debra says

    December 10, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I agree with Jen.

    HAHA.

  4. Diane Davis says

    December 10, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    yep, another hater here.

  5. Mrs. Incredible says

    December 10, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    Sing it, sister.

  6. Lyonslove says

    December 10, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    I think it is just the Howerton body type Kristen. Don’t be mad because then you would hate me for my perfect body too. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!
    How crazy that you got a picture with Mark not wearing a shirt! That never happens!

  7. Dan & Hillary and little Russell says

    December 11, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Amen. On the bright side, he’ll be able to take care of you in the ‘not-so-golden years’!

.AmazonBARNES AND NOBLE TARGET POWELLS PEGUIN RANDOM HOUSE


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Hi, I’m Kristen. I’m a mom of four kids via birth and adoption and a writer living in Southern California. Read More.

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Rage Against the Minivan sometimes earns revenue through sponsored posts, which are clearly labeled, and occasional affiliate links to recommended products. I only feature products that I truly like, and my opinions are always my own.

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