You know you are getting old when you get the new Urban Outfitters catalog in the mail, and instead of drooling over the clothes, this is your stream of consciousness:

“Really? People wear this stuff? Are they trying to be ironic with these clothes? Who pairs a flannel over a satin dress? Why are these models slouching so much? Why dont’t they wear bras? And stand up straight? And eat something? There is nothing in here I would wear. Even if I was super skinny. I wonder if The Gap is having a sale . . . .”