Seems there is a group of Jehovah Witnesses assigned to converting my household. They stop by several times a week, right during naptime, and knock on my door. Loudly. Despite the fact that I let them know my kids are sleeping every time they come.

Then, they hand me the Watchtower and Awake. If you are somehow living under a rock and haven’t had these left at your door, they are short little books chock full of lame stock photography from the 1980’s. They feature articles with ominous titles like “Are We Nearing Armegeddon?” and “Is It Later Than You Think?” Now, I have absolutely no interest in reading these things, and as soon as I close the door, I pretty much make a beeline to the trashcan. They might as well be saying, “here you go. could you throw these away for us?” But instead of just declining the books, I always take them with enthusiasm. I am a relatively direct and assertive person, but when cultish people are witnessing to me, I become sheepishly passive. I somehow feel like I have to prove to them that I, too, am down with the JC. I should decline the books, and I should tell them to stop coming by. But instead, I smile and say something ridiculous like, “thanks, I can’t wait to read these to the kids during our devotional time.” What is my problem? I have no idea why I feel the need to prove something to these people.

So I am inwardly annoyed and outwardly thrilled by their visits, until last week. They stopped by, and by some miracle my kids were not yet napping. So both India and Jafta are hanging to my skirts while I accept their waste of trees propaganda with a smile. And one of the women takes one look at my kids and says,

“Do you run a daycare from your home?”

Okay, ladies. I think we’re done here.