. . . insomnia that had me awake at 6am
. . . bleary-eyed, flipping the channels
. . . watching a horrible crash, thinking it was the worst accident I had ever seen
. . . another crash, realizing it was no accident, waking Mark
. . . watching helplessly, people jumping, towers falling
. . . feeling numb, going to a friend’s house and learning we could still laugh
. . . feeling helpless, flying to volunteer
. . . entering Ground Zero and losing composure
. . . the smell – dear Lord the smell
. . . preparing food, sorting cans, driving a forklift
. . . listening to stories too awful to repeat, watching grown men cry
. . . posters of loved ones, people found, people lost
. . . compassion and community
. . . devastating loss