I am working at home today. We have a studio apartment behind our house and it’s vacant at the moment, so I am using the quiet space to work on some lecture notes. There are painters in the house, edging us closer and closer to getting our house back to pre-flood conditions. The have the house taped off and practically sealed shut, but twice now I have had to go to the bathroom, so I tiptoed my way around them into the house and tried to pee as quietly as possible. As I walked back into the studio, it occurred to me: THERE IS A BATHROOM IN THE STUDIO.
Yesterday I was making lunch for the kids. Mark took them on a quick errand. When he returned, I had four plates sitting out, and I asked Mark where Jafta was. Mark reminded me that Jafta was at kindergarten. Oh yeah. That.
I made cupcakes for the twins’ birthday at school. Only, cupcakes and sweets aren’t allowed . . . so I cheated and make muffins with stevia-sweetened cream cheese frosting. (Yes, they are disgusting). They are in different classes with 20 kids each, so I had to make two batches. While cooking the first batch, I noticed that there was a burning sweet potato fry stuck on the bottom of the stove that was smoking up the house. I recalled that it has been there the last five times I’ve cooked, and each time I’ve reminded myself to clean it out once the oven cooled. It is still there. I’d go pull it out right now, but I’m too embarrassed to face the painters, what with my frequent peeing and all.
Last week, before we left for Austin, was one of the hottest weeks of the year. I wanted to make some beans and rice to leave with the babysitter so she didn’t have to cook. But it was too hot for the crockpot in the kitchen, so I plugged it in outside on the countertop of our grill. I thought this was pretty ingenious. I ran some errands, and when I came home I asked Mark why the bedroom smelled like food. He had no idea. We talked about what the neighbors might be cooking. We put the kids down, packed, and laid down for bed. At about midnight, it occurred to me that I had a full crockpot of beans still cooking (on high) in the backyard. Had I not remember, it might have started a fire while we were gone.
(P.S. my apologies to everyone who followed my recipe and woke to burnt beans in the morning. Apparently my crockpot does not heat up like others do. Despite being left in my backyard until midnight on high, the beans were still perfect).
Today I asked Mark what we had going on this evening. He reminded me that I am teaching a class. The same class I teach EVERY WEDNESDAY.
I also supervise a therapist intern on Fridays. I have stood him up the last three weeks in a row.
I have forgotten the kids’ turn for snack day every month this year. I think the preschool just expects me to forget at this point
Jafta came home with a letter from kindergarten, telling us that he is supposed to dress wearing a specific color of the rainbow each day for the next TWO WEEKS. I’m sure that’s gonna happen.
Please tell me this is a temporary condition, and that my brain will begin functioning again as the kids get older.
Please.
