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What I want you to know about having a brother placed for adoption

September 12, 2013

What I Want You to Know is a series of
reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their
personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the
unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to
this series,
click here. Today’s guest posts is by an anonymous reader.





My mum died in 2007, but she died with a weight off her shoulders. Her
son, our brother, had found her 16 years before. It was a wonderful
reunion and she and our brother “Sam” were just lovely together. She
loved him and his family so much, and when they played on the piano
together, you could see the family resemblance. We had a big family
barbeque when mum was ready, and her brothers were there – and his wife
was struck by their resemblance – tall, dark hair, aquiline noses. She
said she’d never seen a family resemblance before.

I was told I
had an “adopted out” brother by my half-sister, when I was very young. I
was told this to hurt my mum. And I did. we were having a huge fight
one day, and I mentioned that she had lied about me being her first
child, and she just crumbled.

I spent part of my adolescence searching for him – I knew where he was born, but not when. This was
because mum was not 18, as she told me, but 21. She thought I would
despise her for being so naive….

I love my big brother, and I
love my mum. She did not want to give him up, but she came from a strict
background and in those days, you did what you were told. I am just so
grateful that he found her (and us, his sisters) Well before she died.
His oldest son (her oldest grandchild) is 21 as of yesterday, and her
youngest grandbaby will turn three in June. I am the proud sister of my
big bro, but I will never forget the burden that society put on my mum.
Giving up her first-born for adoption almost ripped the heart right out
of her.

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Hi, I’m Kristen. I’m a mom of four kids via birth and adoption and a writer living in Southern California. Read More.

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Rage Against the Minivan sometimes earns revenue through sponsored posts, which are clearly labeled, and occasional affiliate links to recommended products. I only feature products that I truly like, and my opinions are always my own.

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