reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their
personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the
unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to
this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by an anonymous reader.
I would like people to know I don’t have children simply because I don’t
want them. And I would like people to know it doesn’t mean neither that
I hate children nor that I disregard their life-choices.
Yes, a
weird “I Would Like You To Know” in a parenting blog. I understand that
many parents who have children can’t think about a life without them.
And I can have an idea about how heart-wrenching is the though of
somebody who could have children not wanting children for somebody who
is desperately trying to have them.
Still, as I previously said,
my decision has nothing to do with your choices. Your choices are
admirable, and I do hope and pray you will have the children you are
searching for, because it is what you want.
But it is not what I want for myself.
I can practically hear your thoughts.
“She will change her mind”
“She will regret it”
“How selfish of her!”
“She must hate children”
“My, is it NORMAL?”
Or, the worst:
“She must be a terrible person”.
Believe me, I have heard it all before.
Often said aloud by people who had just met me (yes, including the last one).
I would like to ask for a greater degree of understanding or, failing that, politeness.
Just
try to exchange the main-reason for the aforementioned phrase about
deciding not to have children with other major life decisions:
You want to carry to therm your child, even if analysis shows a possibility for a disability?
“She will change her mind”
“She will regret it”
You want to adopt?
“She will change her mind”
“She will regret it”
We don’t say such things. We assume people can make their choices.
I would ask the same courtesy extended to the choice of not having children.
Thank you.
T.
