ON THURSDAY’S I POST FROM THE VAULT. THIS POST IS FROM JANUARY 2011.

I continue in my 15 minutes of fame as the woman who loves/hates minivans, depending on where you’re reading. So controversial, I am!! It’s like a telephone game.  I made anti-minivan remarks!  I’m the woman who fell in love with the minivan!   (Um, no.)  I’m riding on the coattails of Rage Against the Machine and should be ashamed of myself! I think that my being quoted on any of this conversation is utterly amusing, especially because I could care less about cars.  Talking about cars is just above talking about football in my book – I don’t care how funny those NPR guys are.  I’m practically putting myself to sleep just writing this – and the hundreds of comments, both passionately for and against the minivan on the NY Times website?  Yeah . . . I got through about 20 before my eyes started glazing over.  Before I got my minivan, I drove a 10-year-old Honda Civic.  Before that?  An older version of the Honda Civic.  When we decided to buy a minivan, I told Mark that I did not care what brand it was, because I felt that once we had gone over to the darkside, the details just didn’t matter.  One day I checked online for a used minivan in our price range.  We bought the first one we looked at.   I don’t have any feelings, rage, love or otherwise, about my car.  Nor do I feel embarrassed that I drive a minivan and write a blog called Rage Against the Minivan. I mostly bought this domain name because jonstewartfanclub.com was already taken, and kristenisawesome.com seemed a little self-indulgent. Anyways, enough about that.  I need to finish up this year-end recap because 1) it’s bugging me that I haven’t finished, and 2) I have other things I would like to discuss.  Like how I’m sort of scared of Oprah after that behind-the-scenes show.  And how about the irony of her message about self-care and balance and Living Your Best Life when she clearly works her staff to the point of tearful exhaustion? And what’s the deal with Birdpocolypse? Alright, what was I talking about here?  Oh yes, the rest of 2010. (Did I mention we’re home?  We flew home today.  I am SO HAPPY TO BE HOME.  But I’m not talking about anything else until I finish this freaking recap) (Except to link you to Josh Groban singing Kanye’s tweets, because that crap is hilarious).

July

We had  the series of unfortunate events that lead to a flood and the evacuation of our house.  Then we found out we needed asbestos abatement, were exiled from our house for a month, and experienced hotel rage for six weeks, all because of two towels.  I decided to become a hedonist (sort of) and a part of that was signing up for my first flashmob.   Kembe was adjusting but I was worried about him getting his swagger back.   

August

I went to Blogher for the first time, experienced party planes, puke fests, and fondue feuds, and had a homecoming buzzkill coming “home” to a hotel.  At the end of the month, we finally said goodbye to the suite life.   

September

I talked about learning to side-step the drama of Kembe’s attachment issues and came to terms with the best friends that weren’t.  I started the what I want you to know series.  Jafta started kindergarten and was most excited about buying hot lunch.   

 

October

We threw a princess and knight party for the twins’ fourth birthday.  I pretended to be jet-set during October with three trips in one month.  I went to DC for a weekend for sanity, I spent two days in Ojai in a yurt with a tribe of some of the coolest women ever, and Mark and I went to Austin for two days to attend an adoption conference and hang with dear friends.  This prompted several posts on adoption: what you can do about the orphan crisis beyond adoption, some thoughts on christians and adoption, and whether or not orphans need “saving”.   Kembe enjoyed his first Halloween and thought our American tradition of knocking on doors to receive candy was VERY COOL. 

November

We took new family photos with Drew, I started an advice column over here, I embarrassed myself in front of my students with ants in my pants, I put my tree up in mid-november.  We met our new nephew Duzi and I threw a pie in Jafta’s face on Thankgiving.   

December

Jafta got the lucky horse that peed, I recorded myself singing home for Christmas for a blogger concert, I accidentally chopped India’s hair off.  We did a bunch of Christmas-y stuff, like penis Christmas houses, and celebrated our first Christmas, all together now.  We visited family in Atlanta and Florida, and rang in the New Year, happy to have 2010 behind us.