On Thursdays I post from the vault. This post is from June 2009.
I’ve had a few friends who seemed a little concerned about me after my post on Monday. I’m thinking maybe I left the wrong impression. Life is hard right now, and I have never been one to hold back in talking about the realities of motherhood. But life is also really good. Even though I am juggling a lot right now, what I wanted to communicate is that I am learning to surrender to that fact that I can’t always win. I suppose that does sound kind of negative, but for someone like me it is actually freeing to accept that there will not be perfection at this stage of the game. When I give up pursuing that, it allows me to laugh at things that could be completely mortifying. Like Wednesday, when Karis projectile vomited and then India pooped her pants during Jafta’s preschool celebration where I was “volunteering”. I’m sure his teachers appreciated my contributions to the party.
Am I still sounding cynical? Sheesh.
Life is crazy right now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. So bear with me when I rant about the indiginities – it’s my coping mechanism. Sarcasm is easier for me than sentimentalism. But in an excercise to EMBRACE THE GOOD (my new motto), here is a little list of things I am grateful for:
- I love having my kids so close in age. It makes for a crazy few years, but I love what great friends they are, and how well they play together. I am also excited that they will all be in high school at the same time. Three little ones is mayhem, but if I had my way I would have four little ones in the house right now. I hope their brother in Haiti can join the chaos soon.
- I am so grateful that I got to experience having another biological child. It’s something I never thought would happen even once, much less twice. I had completely surrendered that desire, and it was such an unexpected blessing. I am so grateful to have experienced childbirth AND adoption. Twice.
- I am so happy that Karis is healthy. There were several red flags for chromosomal issues while I was pregnant. I haven’t had the head space to blog about that stuff yet. I’ll get there. But there were some test results that had me really, really scared. I am beyond grateful that she has no syndromes and is developing typically.
- I am grateful that my husband has a flexible job that allows him to work only four days a week, and that I have a job that allows me to work only one day a week. It’s nice to put on grown-up clothes and have adult conversations on Fridays, but it’s also really great to be at home with the kids full-time.
- I’m grateful for my amazing friends, who supported me during a whiney and stressful pregnancy, and brought me meals and gifts over the past month.
- I’m grateful that I’m not pregnant anymore! (Have I mentioned that?)
- I’m grateful that Karis is sleeping through the night (for the most part) and India is peeing in the potty (for the most part)
- I’m grateful that today is Friday, and I’m at the office getting some time to clear my head, and then get to go home to my four favorite people in the world . . .
