On Thursdays I post from the vault. This post is from June 2007.

I got a call from our attorney this morning. She basically told me that she and the county’s attorney are worried that there is a chance that Jafta could be returned to his birthmom. She wanted to shoot straight with me and wants us to be prepared for this possibility. The next court date is June 26th, and it is likely that the birthmom’s attorney will call for a contested trial which will drag this out for a very long time and could end in reunification.

Right after my conversation with her, I got a call from the caseworker, letting me know that we must take Jafta to visits with his birthmom once a week. I knew this was a possibility, but the actual reality of this is making me physically sick. The first visit is scheduled for Friday afternoon.

I really can’t express how distressed I am by all of this. This process has been going on for two years and it has taken a toll on us in every way possible. I feel so discouraged. I really need prayers that I can have the strength to get through this. I’m not sleeping much and feel like I am living under a cloud of fear, anxiety, and depression. It is hard to even look at my precious son without worrying about his future.

Please please pray over the next few weeks about this court date. Please pray that for some reason the birthmom would not show up, like she has all year. You can pray that the judge will follow DCFS’s recommendation that there will not be reunification services. Please pray over the woman at DCFS who is writing the report, and that she would be able to present clear and convincing evidence as to why there should not be reunification.

Please pray protection for Jafta, that he can be spared knowledge of this, and that he would be miraculously at peace during the visits. Please pray that Mark and I can also be at peace, and that God would give us the strength to get through our days until this is resolved.