Today, October 15th, is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day . . . a day set aside to honor mothers who have lost their children to miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. This is a topic that is close to me, as we had six miscarriages during our journey to build a family.

Miscarriage is such a lonely road. I could never have imagined how devastating it would be to lose a pregnancy. I think it is something no one can comprehend until you have been through it. And yet, so many of us have. I am still mystified by the cloud of secrecy that passes over this loss that so many of us have endured. I remember sitting with a group of about 10 women, all of whom I knew fairly well from church. The topic came up, and each and every one of us had experience pregnancy loss. I had no idea about most of them. Why the silent suffering?

I’ve talked a bit about how quiet I was about all of my pregnancies, and how the result was that I felt completely and utterly alone when I miscarried in secret. I hope that being open on my blog can help even one person who has suffered through this on their own. I hope that we, as women, can begin to take the taboo away from this topic and remember our children out loud.

And for all of my friends, family, and readers who have suffered loss: you are loved, and your child is honored today. I’m writing this post to create a space for you to remember your losses. 

Please feel free to leave a comment and share your story.

Just Ten Weeks
by Susan Erling

For just 10 weeks
I had you to myself.
And 10 weeks seems too short a time for
you to have changed me so profoundly.

In just 10 weeks
I came to know you … and to love you.
You came to trust me with your life.
Oh, what a life I had planned for you!

Just 10 weeks
Then I lost you.
I lost a lifetime of hopes, plans, dreams, and aspirations.
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just 10 weeks
It wasn’t enough time to convince others
how special and important you were.
How odd, a truly unique person has died
recently, and no one is mourning the passing.

Just 10 weeks.
And no normal person would cry all night
over a tiny 10-week fetus, or get depressed
and withdrawn day after endless day.
No one would, so why am I?

You were just 10 weeks, my little one. You
darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems you only needed 10 weeks to
make my life so much richer and give me a
small glimpse of eternity