Sunday night, I decided to watch the Oscars before the kids went to bed. This is the first time since having children that I have attempted to watch a show of my own choosing while my children were still awake. It’s like their brains exploded. HOW COULD I BE SO SELFISH. Once they realized that I was not, in fact, going to turn the channel to Disney Junior, they settled in and watched it with me, which provided a lot of hilarious commentary. India had quite a bit to say about the dresses and kept a running tab of her favorites in numeric order. These were her final three: 
I think her taste is impeccable, though Sandra Bullock’s dress gets my final rose. Kembe was mostly only interested in whether or not the guy who plays Thor was going to be there, because “that guy is funny.” Yes, Kembe. That’s why I hope has was there, too. Jafta, on the other hand, was really interested in knowing how he could win an Oscar. Jafta has never been interested in filmmaking before, but suddenly the prospect of winning a gold statue has turned him into a movie-making protégé. He told me that he and Kembe were going to make a movie this year so that next year he could go to the Oscars. The conversation that followed is the sort of typical random conversations that occur in my house:
Jafta: Kembe and I are going to make a movie next year so we can go. Me: Well, movies are very expensive to make. Jafta: How much? Me: Like, about 5 million dollars. Jafta: That’s not going to be a problem. Me: Jafta, that is a LOT of money. Jafta: Well, I think we could get a lot of money. Then we can make a movie. Or go to Las Vegas. That would be awesome. They have gold columns there. Me: Jafta, you’ve been to Las Vegas before. Jafta: I HAVE?? Me: Yes, when you were little. Jafta: HOW DID WE AFFORD THAT?? Me: Well, it’s really not that expensive to stay there. Jafta: Okay, we need to go there again. I’m going to start doing car washes. And that’s how Jafta’s dreams of winning an Oscar were diverted to a Vegas trip. Because GOLD COLUMNS.
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