Dear earbuds,
You’ve changed. It’s been a small change, and it’s not one that many people are willing to talk about. But I’m going to go there today.  It’s not me, it’s you.

It used to be that you nestled nicely into my ear. You were mostly external. You sat in my ear comfortably . . . just the right fit. You weren’t flashy or obtrusive, but we had a good partnership. You served me well.


But lately you’ve gotten a little to forward.  Your new body makeover looks great but you are forcing me to insert you halfway down my ear canal. It’s like you’ve become an ear tampon.


And there are sizes? All this means for me is that the rubber part is usually pulled off by one of my children and lost in the recesses of a toy drawer. Why have you gotten so complicated?

I just don’t feel comfortable with you any more. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe I’m too sensitive . . . but I find you so intrusive and bothersome to wear. I’ve tried to go back . . . to search out what we once had . . . but alas, it seems all of the stores are supporting your new changes.  I can’t seem to find what we once had.

Why? Why have you changed. WHY ARE WE MOVING IN THIS DIRECTION, SCIENCE OF ERGONOMICS? Have you found that other people are more tolerant of this?  Okay, maybe it is just me. But newfangled earbuds . . . we’re through. I’d rather go back to my non-assuming headphones than have to deal with your forcefulness. Stay out of my ears, okay? I don’t like you like that.