Yesterday India came home and tattled on Kembe for saying a bad word at school. I asked Kembe what he had said, and he sheepishly admitted that he had repeated, “I’m sexy and I know it” during recess. This was one of those moments where I had to mask my urge to laugh, and put on my Very Serious Face as I asked him what that word meant, and if he thought it was appropriate to be using. Which, of course, led to all of the children asking me what the word SEXY means, because none of them know beyond it being vaguely wrong to say. You guys? I was completely stumped by how to explain this one. I stuttered and hemmed and hawed and finally said something like, “Well, it could be like a girl who isn’t wearing very much clothing.” To which India responded, “Well Ryan always says he is sexy so that doesn’t make ANY sense.” So then I was all, “Um, well . . . it could mean a girl or a boy, but they look good and maybe you want to kiss them and OMG SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS CONVERSATION.” I’m not really sure what else I said. I might have blacked out and lost time. What is my problem? I am a therapist. I’m supposed to be good at having these conversations! But somehow the concept of explaining sexiness to kindergartens turned me into a bumbling idiot. Then, not even an ten minutes later, because apparently Jafta was under the assumption that I was explaining Life’s Great Mysteries, he marched into my room and back out wielding a tampon, demanding to know what they are. The girls were sure they were some sort of forbidden candy but explaining they weren’t did not quench his curiosity. At which point I told him that he was not allowed to ask anything else that day. HELP.