I have gone out of my way to cultivate the trust between my children and for them to feel safe telling me anything they wish. And so far, in their early teenage years, they do. I’d like that to continue as they creep closer to adulthood. But what if next time it’s not about stumbling on a forbidden Facebook page but rather finding out one of their friend’s is doing drugs or drinking and driving? Is it my duty as the adult in this relationship to break their trust if it means protecting a child that isn’t my own?
Most women who face fertility problems could write a masters thesis on Awful Things That The Fertile Woman Says and Does. Chapter one is Complaining About Her Children and some of the rest are Not Realising How Hard This Is, My Childless Life Is Not One Long Carefree Vacation You Know; She Said WHAT? Doesn’t She Care About Our Friendship At All?; and Even If She Hasn’t Been Through This Herself, Has She No Imagination? It hurt me so much that my friends didn’t understand how hard my experiences were. It hurt me so much that they minimized and ignored the pain of wanting a child. This is so much harder than it looks from the outside, I remember thinking. I wish you could see just how hard. You think your life is hard, so mine must be easy and it’s not, it’s not.
Sunshine and Bunniess | Pacing the Panic Room
Seriously stop telling me you know how it is, sigh with empathy, and then launch into the story about the awful tantrum your kid had at Target the other day. If your kid is going to have the same tantrums at 42 years old while you’re shopping with them, then you can go right ahead and sigh with me. When I first started blogging, the mom blog rage back then was to break down the stereotypes that they had to be prefect all the time, and part of breaking that perfection perception was to admit on their blogs that sometimes they couldn’t stand their own kids, and so they would do things like complain about their children on their blogs, stuff like, OH MY GOD how annoying their children were because they never SHUT up! "Oh My GOD they never stop asking questions!!!!" they would say. Meanwhile we were trying to get LB to speak through a computer, or learn enough sign language just to try and figure out what the heck he was thinking about during a day so we could make his frustration level go down so he wouldn’t bite himself anymore.
I don’t want a Black History Month. [He was asked how we are going to get rid of racism without acknowledge Black History in America.] Stop talking about it. I’m going to stop calling you a white man and I’m going to ask that you stop calling me a black man. I know you as Mike Wallace; you know me as Morgan Freeman.
As I was perusing lost and found, one of the other parents was organizing… the lost and found…and she basically called me out on the spot for not being more involved. Which, she’s right. I’m not. Last year, I volunteered every other week in Archer’s class but this year is a very different story and even if it wasn’t, SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TO ORGANIZE LOST AND FOUNDS. And here’s the thing, I am totally appreciative of other people’s time. But I’m just not the "involved" type. Clubs and committees of any kind give me anxiety. I am the mom at the school with her hood over her head. Perfectly comfortable among kids but basically terrified of their parents. I’d rather donate more than my share to the fundraiser than donate two minutes of my time to the committee doing the fundraising. And that makes me a type-A leper with the type-A moms.
So if women also are the majority of voters in America, can Pinterest be a useful political engagement tool? It took the old-school politicos a while to warm up to the idea that they needed a presence on Twitter and Facebook to engage with voters, so it ought to be a natural next step to head over to Pinterest. I’m giving it a shot at my Election 2012 Pinterest page, and it turns out I’m not the only one. Here are a few you might want to check out . . .
As an Asian-American who writes about pop culture, I have to say that Jeremy Lin’s greatest achievement isn’t what he’s accomplished on the court. It’s the road he’s paved for Asian-Americans to be relevant in mainstream pop culture as normal Americans. And my god do we need that already.
I don’t want them to be passive aggressive. To lock themselves in the bathroom and refuse to come out. To withhold affection or conversation until they get their way. To scream or threaten, call names, roll eyes, sling sarcasm, storm out, cave in, endure abuse or strike back. I want my kids to become adults who fight well.
Why is it so distancing? It’s distancing because most of the pinning going on isn’t actually about what that individual likes or wants; most of the pinning going on is about what that person perceives others will value. That person on Pinterest will never create those twee mini-cakes with the flawless icing and the tiny, ornate birds made of drizzled chocolate, and they don’t even actually want to, and you, in turn, wouldn’t even actually want to eat them, because fondant is nearly inedible. Those pins are about putting those isolated examples of orderly perfection in relation to ourselves like costumes. If our lives were paper dolls, pins on Pinterest would be the paper clothing bent around us.
We asked our girls if this had happened before. It had, but our daughter always just hit delete and never interacted with the people she didn’t know. How does someone get a child’s Skype address? She never posted it publicly anywhere, which makes me wonder if he got it from one of her friends. And that leads me to wonder if this is happening to the girls she knows and regularly does chat with.