What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s post is by Kim M.
Photobucket Before getting pregnant with Elle I had big plans for my life. Maybe not big plans just set plans in my mind. My own timeline for how my life would pan out. It went something like this: Graduate from nursing school at 22, quickly get swept off my feet and fall in love while starting my new career. Date my future husband and complete my bachelor degree over the course of the next 2 years. Get married around age 25, first child at 26 then second child 3-4 years after first. My first child would be a boy and my second a girl. We’d have a picket fence, I’d drive a mini van and live happily ever after… But that’s not exactly or even close to how my life has actually turned out. Life is definitely funny what it throws at you when you least expect it! The only part of my "plan" that was followed through with was graduating from nursing school at 22. That first child came at 23 instead of 26 and happened to be a beautiful little girl, not a boy. I was swept off my feet by a 7 lb beauty and have yet to meet that future husband and who needs a bachelors degree anyway?! I live in my parents house, which has no white picket fence and I don’t drive a mini van. My great "plans" are essentially dead. I have mourned them, some days I mourn them more than others. I see others living out their plans to a T and the jealousy I feel for their lives is overwhelming at times. But after all the mourning, the what ifs, the pity party moments I have I just take one look into the most gorgeous baby blues I have ever seen and life is right. My life is going exactly according to plan. I no longer try to make a timeline for my life. I have NO idea what’s around the next bend and while it’s scary and frightening it’s a little exciting knowing the possibilities are endless, there is no pressure to live out my "plans." Life will happen when it happens and I am learning and trying to be okay with that.