Three Things That Drive Me Crazy:

  • The iphone “this changes everything . . . again” slogan.  Um, no.  The new iphone does not change everything.  It changes the way a few privileged hipsters update their tweets and play Words With Friends. 
  •  The lady who sells $5 balloons right next to the merry-go-round.  Are my kids bothering you with the begging and the screaming and the throwing themselves on the ground?  Well, blame her.  I’m not spending $20 on balloons.
  • The Brooks Brothers window display.  I might have mentioned this beforeI can’t remember. The good news is that the seersucker is currently devoid of any embroidered animals.  The bad news is that the madras shirt has matching pants.

Three Places At South Coast Plaza Where The Employees Hate My Family For Tearing Up The Place Every Week And Never Actually Buying Something:

  • The Mac store (free entertainment)
  • Pottery Barn Kids (plentiful toys that I don’t have to clean up)
  • Sees candy (free samples)

Three Things That Kembe Used to Fear But Now Loves:

  • Ice cream
  • Elevators
  • Merry-go-rounds