Last week was a whirlwind. We started the week with an extra child (whose parents are now home from Ghana), and then we had Jodie and the cousins stay for a night. In between that, India and Kembe had a slumber party at grandma’s house, and on Friday we had a night with the whole Howerton clan gathered at grandma’s. It was all a lot of fun, and definitely a lot of activity outside of our normal routine.
I feel like we are still on such a learning curve with Kembe. It’s been three months now since he came home. He is doing so well in so many ways that I often forget that he is still transitioning. I have to admit, he let me know in some very clear ways this week that it was too much, too soon. He has been begging to spend the night at grandma’s since Jafta did last month – he wanted to be ready for that, and I wanted it for him. But when he came home the next day, he was so out of sorts, and really has been since. The last couple of days have been the hardest since he came home. Mark and I have been jokingly referring to last week as the week we “flew too close to the sun”.
We have to joke because, really, it’s been awful. It’s been hard seeing his rage and insecurity manifest behaviorally, and a difficult reminder that we have a long way to go before we will just be a “typical” family without having to carefully thinking through every activity and how it might affect our newest member.
Mark and I went to a wedding on Saturday, and I realized just before the ceremony that I had forgotten to factor in some blisters I acquired last weekend on a walk around the neighborhood in bad shoes. I had my outfit planned out, down to some cute high-heeled pumps, but as I put them on I remembered that my heels were shredded. I went to put band-aids on my heels, and further realized that the only band-aids in the house were of the spiderman variety. So I ended up wearing knee-high boots, with thick socks underneath, with a spiderman band-aid on each heel. And as we were driving to the wedding, I thought about how that is such a metaphor for our family right now. Things may look normal on the outside. But underneath, there are some nasty wounds with the wrong dressing. Things are shiny on the outside – but painful under the surface.
But despite the blisters, we had a great time at the wedding, and were reminded of the beauty of finding love, the importance of family, and the joy of just putting your junk behind you and having fun. And I guess that’s what we need to strive for right now.
