Rage Against The Minivan

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a ban on plastic nudity

April 7, 2010

I’m afraid I had a slight “mommy dearest” moment the other day.  It was a typical scene that plays out pretty much every day in our house:  India brings me a handfull of High School Musical dolls that she has undressed, and asks me to put their clothes back on.  Now, I am not so prudish that a bunch of naked dolls prompt me to fury.  But I cannot tell you how sick I am of spending a good portion of my day trying to slide a half-inch cylinder of fabric up a tiny plastic leg, because India lacks the fine motor skills to do it herself.  (Okay, it’s not really a good portion of my day.  But it’s really, really annoying.  Especially Troy and Chad’s HSM3 prom-edition one piece tuxedos.  Ten minutes and some serious focus and dexterity to get those suckers back on.  Like I have time for this . . .   So the last time she brought me all of her naked toys, I called all of the kids over and, in my best Joan Crawford imitation, forbade them from undressing their toys because MOMMY IS SICK OF PUTTING THEIR CLOTHES BACK ON.

NO MORE NAKED TOYS!  OR WIRE HANGERS!  RAWRRRRR!!!!

I’m sure they are traumatized.

And sure, one solution would be that I stop helping and we just have naked toys. But India refuses to play with them once they are naked.  And also, when they are undressed those High School Musical and Tiana dolls look pretty much identical to the Barbies that I pretend to be morally opposed to as a pseudo-feminist.  And really, how am I supposed to maintain my self-righteous stance against Barbie and the materialism/body image/stereotypes she represents, when these dolls aren’t clearly dressed to show that they are, indeed, not Barbies?  Sheesh.  Don’t these kids realize that I am one HSM “Night To Remember” costume away from being a hypocrite?

This level of moral superiority takes work.

Speaking of nudity (and because I like to stir the pot), what do you think of Eryka Badu’s new video and the ensuing controversy?  I just heard about it – from an article that said, “unless you have been living under a rock for the past week, you’ve heard about the new Eryka Badu video and subsequent charges”.  Apparently, I am living under a rock, but I’m crawling out long enough to tell you other rock-dwellers about it, too.  Because it’s a big, big deal since OMG PIXELATED NUDITY!  IN PUBLIC!  ACK!

Anyways, what do you think?  Artful?  Tasteless?  Meaningful?  Shocking?  Beautiful?  It certainly seems to provoke a response. 

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Hi, I’m Kristen. I’m a mom of four kids via birth and adoption and a writer living in Southern California. Read More.

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