In my attempt to be more granola, I decided to give the herbal bug repellant a try. This was a mistake. A very bad mistake.

It’s fun looking at your daughter’s legs and thinking about how your commitment to avoiding chemicals on a trip to Haiti has come at the expense of her poor, welted skin. It’s great wondering which mosquito bite might have been delivering malaria, or dengue fever, or west nile fever to your 18-month-old, because you slathered your kid in something you bought at Whole Foods instead of at REI.

DEET, I’m sorry I ever doubted you.