We had our final appointment with my fertility doctor on Friday to discuss the implications that we have now had a third miscarriage. I hate that I’m telling this news, but it’s technical, complicated, and confusing, and I’d prefer to deliver the details this way, so forgive me. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it – I’d just rather give you the facts this way because it’s so hard to explain.
Bottom line, the doctor did not give us a lot of hope. In his opinion, the doctor thinks that there is a 70-100% chance that we will miscarry again with every subsequent pregnancy. (I like how the 100% was thrown in there as an option). Ultimately, we have had every test known to man, and because everything with both of us individually is working as it should, the doctor has concluded that it is a genetic issue with the embryos. In other words, Mark and I are not chromosomally compatible – our DNA don’t like each other. There is nothing that can be medically done about this. Our doctor basically encouraged us to think about whether or not we can handle the potential of a string of more miscarriages, both physically and emotionally, and warned that this also puts us at high risk for having a child born with birth defects if we were ever able to carry to term. He encouraged us to look into adoption.
I was worried that this would be his prognosis, but sitting in the office and hearing him deliver the bad news was a major blow for both of us. Obviously, we feel really let down that this is happening to us, and disappointed would be an understatement. We have been pursuing adoption for a while now, and we are excited about that, but to hear that we may never get to experience pregnancy, childbirth, etc . . . very sad for both of us.
There is, however, good news in all of this. This Monday, we passed our final home inspection to be foster/adopt parents. I have to say, in the midst of this, that has been a huge blessing to help us through this time and give us a ray of hope. Our agency has a bit more paperwork to complete, but in a few weeks we should be ready to start looking at potential placements. We are going through the state, because we really want to adopt from the children who are waiting for families, and who might not traditionally be sought for adoption due to age and race. We’re hoping for a young sibling set and we are really, really feeling excited about this.
Please keep us in your prayers, and pray that God would bring us the kids he has for us – however they get here! We are ready for them. We also ask that you get excited for us and with us about our upcoming adoption. Your support over the last few years has meant so much to us already, and we are glad that we have this circle to bring our “instant family” into.