My word for the year is NO
Over the past couple of years I’ve noticed this trend where people choose a word that is going to guide them for the year. In the past, I’ve done resolutions, and I’ve failed miserably at them. Year after year, I’ve struggled to be present in my own life, to lower my stress level, to create more down-time, to take more walks, to spend more time just “being” with my family and friends. Every year I add these things to my list, but this year I decided to take stock in what is keeping me from . . .
White privilege, and what we’re supposed to do about it
The case of Trayvon Martin’s death has sparked a national conversation around race. People seem to be polarized in their reactions to the recent verdict, and as such I’d love to avoid more conjecture on that in this post. Rather, I really want to explore some questions about white privilege, since that is a term that has been widely used in the past week, and hopefully shed some light on what it means and what, exactly, we white folk are supposed to do about it. White privilege is a difficult . . .
Finding justice for Trayvon: seven actions steps for our outrage
"I take for granted that I belong wherever I happen to be." -- Joan Haskins photo via NerdyWonka Any plausible deniability about the negative bias that black men face in our country was pulled out from under me during our first adoption process. Americans love to see themselves as “colorblind” . . . to describe our country as a post-racial melting pot with a black president and a smug sense of satisfaction for not being as racist as the previous generation. But race preference in adoption . . .
Defending Paula Deen: what the national reaction can teach us about race
There has been a lot of press about the recent lawsuit filed against Paula Deen, alleging (among other things) that she tolerated blatant racism towards the staff in her company’s restaurants (including separate entrances for black employees) and referred to black men as “n*ggers” to another employee. At this point, the case is a bit of a she-said, she said, with Paula denying most of the allegations. While I suspect the truth lies someone in the middle, I’m going to focus on the things . . .
the underlying tension of gender roles in the pursuit of an egalitarian marriage (or: what I learned from watching friday night lights)
Mark and I just finished watching Friday Night Lights. We were WAY late to this party, because I absolutely refused to watch a football-centric show, no matter how good the reviews were. Finally, a friend had a serious chat with me about how empty my life was without Friday Night Lights, and I had a conversion experience. We became instantly addicted, and watched the whole series in a matter of months. If you haven’t seen it, I’m going to give away the plot a bit, but not the ending. . . .
where is the mommy-war for the motherless child?
If you watch the trends of media, whether it be print, internet, or tv, you’ve probably noticed that every couple of months there is a new version of the “mommy war” being played out. Last month’s battle du jour was surrounding moms who work vs. moms who stay at home. Today, a firestorm has ignited over a provocative photo and article in Time magazine about extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting. These manufactured mommy wars are predictable because they tend to provoke . . .
default stress, and the fleeting nature of gratitude
I'm going to reveal some not-so-flattering aspects of my personality in this post, so there is a little trepidation here . . . but maybe it will resonate with some of you. I have a really difficult time with managing my stress. Granted, I have a lot going on . . . I have several jobs and four kids, and finding the balance between those things can be difficult. It would be easy to blame my stress level on these things, but the truth I know about myself is that stress seems to be a . . .
describing vs ascribing: digging deeper into talking about race
Last week I talked a bit about how often I notice people dancing around racial descriptors, and how this has led to some awkward interchanges. A friend pointed out that perhaps I was glossing over the context of racial descriptors, and so I want to talk a bit about that. In fact, I think it’s relevant because I think some of the negative context around pointing out someone’s race is what has led to the general unease about acknowledging or discussing issues of race in today’s . . .
the time I referred to “the black guy”, and other tales of racial awkwardness
A couple weeks ago, I posted a list of resources for talking to kids about racism. As it happens, a few people “pinned” the post onto Pinterest. As a blogger, checking Pinterest is interesting, because you can see commentary on your posts from people who don’t necessarily read your blog (or know anything about you). Last week, I noticed a comment on a pin of that post – the description was “how to talk to kids about race”. A woman replied (I’m assumed without having . . .
does love require work?
My friend Tracey wrote an interesting post about love today (you can read her post about making love work here). It spurred some interesting discussion in the comment section, and one commenter theorized that if love feels like work, it’s probably not going to work. I think this is an interesting question : is it really “love'” if it feels like work? I will confess, I have some strong opinions on this one, but I think it really depends on each person’s end goal. If the end . . .
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