1. I brush my teeth and floss a lot. Some might call it obssessive. 2. I hate fish. I hate seeing them, I hate smelling them, I hate eating them. People are always offering me a bite of their entree and saying “try this, it’s not fishy”. And I always think it’s disgusting.3. I start to go a little crazy when I haven’t been out of the US a few times a year. I don’t know why. Oh wait, yes I do. My dad is the same way.4. I am the least athletic person ever. Ever. My head is a flying ball magnet. 5. I like to read Us Magazine more than I’d like to admit.6. I was on Mickey Mouse Club when I was 12.7. I know all the lyrics to Young MC’s Bust a Move, Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back, and Rob Base’s It Take Two. Yo.I am tagging Ali, Andrea, Anne, Bonnie, Diane, and Andrew & Chad.
The truth is I am SICK, SICK, SICK of people feeling all alone because they think everyone else is less screwed up than them. It’s ridiculous. We all have our times we are flying high and our times we are doing a nose dive. Why do we all pretend? It’s all a pack of lies wrapped in a bunch of arrogance. So I am going to give it my best shot and TRY to get real on this blog. This is a get real zone. No bull allowed.
I love it! Alright, I’m taking the challenge. For your Schaudenfraude pleasure, here is me, getting real:
I am online entirely too much, blogging or reading other people’s blogs. I’m often sitting in front of the tv while I’m blogging. I hate this image of myself.
I do the “stuff and hide”. If someone is coming over, I frantically hide messes in drawers, closets, and corners to try and pretend like I live a clutter-free existence.
If I found a Skittle on the floor of my car from a few weeks ago, I would probably eat it.
I am a horrible pastor’s wife. I used to see Mark get approached for help, or prayer, or just a chat from a well-meaning congregant, and I would keep walking and pretend I didn’t know him. I have done this at church and in Target on a number of occasions.
When I go running, I listen to music that is very naughty. I know it is inappropriate, and yet I find it helps me run faster. If someone knows the Christian equivalent to Rage Against the Machine, Snoop Dog, or Jay-Z, I am all ears. (and if you mention Audio Adrenaline or DC Talk you are permanantly banned from my blog).
I often wear the same outfit several days in a row, if it has no visible stains and I’ve deduced that I won’t see the same people that I saw the day before.
I don’t wear socks. EVER. It makes my shoes smell really bad.
Mark criticized the way I folded his clothes in 1997. I have never done his laundry since.
I am terrible at budgeting. Mark and I are great with the macro-finances (investing, no credit cards, etc) but horrible at the micro-finances. At any given time, I have no idea what is in our bank account. I don’t balance my checkbook and we are usually dipping into our overdraft protection.
I pretend to be philisophically opposed to homeschooling, but in truth, I think it’s probably a good thing. I just don’t want to do it.
I would be truly happy to have 25-30% less time with my children, and look forward to the day when they go to kindergarten and I get some solo time back. I often feel guilty because we tried so hard to have children, only to feel like we want a break from them.
I get drained being around people. I hate this about myself. I am an introvert desperately trying to be an extrovert.
I wear heeled shoes that really hurt my feet, because they make my short legs look longer. I am frequently in pain due to my shoes.
Every 28 days, on the dot, I have a meltdown about my son’s energy level and whine about how demanding and hard he is. My husband pointed out this embarrassing product of my PMS.
If I didn’t pay Rosie to clean my house once a week, I think I would be living in filth.
Sometimes I think I continue working just so I can have something that forces me to wear “grown-up clothes” twice a week.
I do about a gazillion things as a mom that I judged other people for doing before I had kids.
Every time I watch a broadway show, I regret not pursuing musical theater. I still get audition notices and keep my headshot updated, as if I’m gonna get back in the game at any minute. Right.
I am crazy about my dental hygiene. I have left events early because there was something stuck in my teeth and I needed to go home and floss.
I refuse to get a minivan because I think it will make me look lame. Yeah, I am really that shallow.
Five things on my to-do list today
1. Get my 3 inch roots touched up
2. Take a meal to my friend Kristy, who just had her second set of TWINS!
3. Return a few client calls
4. Turn in Jafta’s preschool paperwork for next year
5. Pick up my mom from the airport
Snacks I enjoy
1. Plain yogurt with berries, granola, and agave nectar. I eat his almost every night and pretend it’s ice cream
2. australian licorice
3. Pink Lady apples with fresh ground peanut butter
4. Kettle Corn
5. Hummus with pretty much anything
Things I would do if I were a millionaire
1. Buy a house on the beach. Wait, I live in Orange County. Can I be a billionaire? A million won’t get me much
2. Go to Anthropologie and actually buy something instead of just walking around
3. Give money to some folks who are doing good work in Haiti and Africa
4. Buy my husband a car that he actually likes
5. Get a babysitter more often
Places I have lived
1. Kissimmee, Florida
2. Cincinnati, Ohio
3. Ft. Thomas, Kentucky
4. Yakima, Washington
5. Newport Beach, California
Bad habits I have
2. using antiquated Southern terms like “ya’ll”, “cussing”, and “I’m fixing to . . . “
3. staying up way too late
4. parking crooked in the driveway (Not that Mark ever points it out)
5. worrying and overanalyzing things
Jobs I have held
1. piano teacher
2. cocktail waitress
3. can-can dancer (yes for real)
4. college professor
Okay, now I am tagging Jodie, Sarah, Nancy, and Andrea. (This means you have to copy and past this on your own blog and answer the questions yourself!)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
this afternoon, realizing my baby is almost a toddler!
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
with the right pen (a good, goopy one) I love it. With a bad pen, it looks like a child’s.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
06. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yes, and I would crack myself up
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
no. I think sarcasm is thinly vieled anger
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
how much does it cost?
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
good ole-fashioned granola
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
it is rare that I wear shoes with ties, but if so, I untie them first
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I must be, to still be laughing after the last few years.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
how expensive their shoes are. okay, not really. I have no idea.
15. RED OR PINK?
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I am a worrier. Not fun
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
my nephews who live in Florida
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
my pj bottoms (olive green) and no shoes with really dirty feet
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE ?
a jelly bean stolen out of Jaft’s potty treat jar
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
a bootlegged CD of “across the universe”. thanks, Sona!
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE?
johnson’s baby shampoo on my daughter
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
professional cheerleading. it is totally a sport, y’all!
27. HAIR COLOR?
brown with blonde highlights with a runway strip of brown and gray at the roots
28. EYE COLOR?
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
CPK bbq chicken chopped salad
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Across the Universe
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
anything with dark chocolate and raspberries together
37. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
38. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I have a yellow degree in Tae Kwon Do
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
whatever Oprah tells me to read
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
mouse pad? really? are those still around?
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
The Office, 30 Rock
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
my daughter cracking up, my son singing her songs, any musical
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
singapore, india, africa – which is farthest? I have no idea