The Asthmatics
No, this isn't the name of a new emo band. Jafta and I are, unfortunately, the asthmatics.Asthma is a weird thing. For us, it's something I totally forget about all spring and summer. Every year I think, wow, Jafta's asthma is totally gone! And then fall hits, and we are back to negotiating with the nebulizer.(Jafta watching Baby Einstein with his nebulizer at 7 months old)Having grown up with asthma, I know how gnarly some of those inhaled steroids are. I do my best to deal with his asthma (and . . .
Should’ve Gone for the Sex Change
We love to travel, and both my kids have had a passport from an early age. We just applied for Jafta's passport with his adoptive name, which was such a big deal for us! For the past three years, I've had to buy plane tickets under a name he doesn't even know. It was fun to be able to buy his plane ticket for Christmas under Jafta Howerton. Can you believe how big he looks in his new passport photo? I can't believe he is almost 4. We also got to apply for a new birth . . .
What’s Taking So Long in Haiti?
People are always asking me why our adoption is taking so long. It is such a hard question to answer. How do you explain the insanity of Haiti adoption? It's a place with absolutely no infrastructure, poor communication, every-changing rules, and absurd corruption. The hoops for completing a legal adoption are almost laughable. Except you've been waiting too long to laugh.Our orphange director John was writing about one of these hurdles in a recent blog post. This story is not about us. . . .
A Happy Birthday in Haiti
On the same day that India turned 2, her brother in Haiti also turned 2. October 7th is a bittersweet day for me. On the one hand, I am reminded of the amazing miracle of India and the day I gave birth to her. On the other hand, it's a painful day because Keanan is not with us to celebrate his birthday, too. I was feeling very melancholy about it, but my spirits were lifted when I got the pictures of his celebration at the orphange. I was sad on his birthday, but look how happy he is! Look how . . .
Just get pregnant, then you’ll adopt
Most women who have any sort of fertility issues have heard this statement before:"Just adopt, and then you'll get pregnant."I get this one a lot. Especially since it pretty much happened that way. And now here we are, adopting and expecting again, too. So I get why people say it. It's one of those things people just kind of say. A conversation piece, I guess.Now, if you are reading this and you've said this to me, don't worry. You are not alone or a bad person. Someone says this to me a couple . . .
My Thoughts Exactly
Jafta has figured out that I'm pregnant. I haven't said anything yet, so I'm not sure if someone told him, or if he's just suspicious of my growing belly. For 10 weeks pregnant, I somehow look 6 months pregnant. Anyways, on our way home from preschool today, he asked me if there was a baby growing in my tummy. I told him yes. And then he asked me what kind of baby it was going to be. "A new baby", I said. And Jafta replied:"OH!! I want it to be Keanan! I want to go see Keanan tonight and bring . . .
mommy, I want to fix my skin so it will be white
Ohhh . . . my heart is hurting tonight. This evening Jafta opened up about how he feels being the only brown person in our family, and it was devastating. He's really never commented about it before, and we try to keep the dialogue open. But tonight he said the following,Mommy, I don't like my brown skin. I want it to be white.I want to take my skin off.I don't want this hair. I want hair like daddy.I want to fix my skin so it will be white.I want my skin to look like yours and daddy's and . . .
Attachment in Adoption
The most recent Blog Buzz question is about attachment in adoption. I am going to talk about infant adoption, because attachment with an older child is a whole different ballgame that warrants its own discussion.I often hear people sharing ideas for attachment with their newly adopted infant, as if there needs to be some level of extra effort with there are no biological ties. I would argue that idea. Having been down both roads, I really don't think there is a "blood relation" bond that changes . . .
Joseph Goes Home
Adopting from Haiti is a long, slow, and painful process, and we are always encouraged by stories with happy endings. Over the last year as we have visited Heartline, we got to know Joseph, a teenager with a heartbreaking story. Jafta especially took a liking to Joseph, and followed him around like a puppy dog every time we visited. Joseph was friendly and patient with him, and you would never know that this soft-spoken boy had endured so much. Last week, his adoption was finalized and he got to . . .
How Blogging Saved The World
I spend entirely too much time online, reading other people's blogs. It's what a call a neutral addiction. It's not hurting anyone - I'm not flying into a drunk rage or throwing my life away or getting arrested. I'm just quietly wasting lots and lots of time.But part of the reason I am so consumed with reading blogs is that sometimes I feel a bit isolated as a transracial family. IRL (that means in real life, for those of you not spending all your waking hours online) I really don't know any . . .
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