#TBT: parents, please educate your kids about adoption so mine don’t have to
On Thursdays I post from the vault. May is National Foster Care Month which seems like a great time to revisit this post from 2012. I took the kids to the park the other day, and I was seated just close enough to the play structure that I could faintly overhear a conversation that occurred between Kembe and several older kids. At first, I had a hard time understanding what was being said, but something about Kembe’s posture caught my attention. Typically, he’s a . . .
The break-in that wasn’t: on raising black sons and interacting with law enforcement
Last night we had a experience that rattled me to the core. In the middle of the night, I heard the sound of glass breaking. But that's not the part that has me still reeling. Because we thought it might be a break-in, we immediately called the police. They came out and searched out house and yard. The kids were still sleeping. As they searched the backyard, with guns held up in front of their chests asking an intruder to make himself known, they woke Jafta and he screamed and ran down the hall . . .
Why I protest police brutality
While I was in New York last month, I had the chance to attend two protests against police brutality and racial bias. I wanted to explain why I attended them, and what the purpose was behind them. I attended the marches because I believe that there is a pervasive pattern of overreaction and brutality against people of color. This does not mean that I think every cop is bad. My sister was a cop for many years, as was my brother-in-law. I understand the heavy and real risk of being in this line . . .
What it’s like being a young black man in America
This guest post is by Wesley Hall. It is a repost from last year because I think it bears repeating in light of current events. Man, I'm just glad I had a mom who gave me the realness from a young age. I can remember thinking she was so stuck in the past for telling me that I couldn't do or say or wear certain things, that I could not stay out as late as my white friends could, that I could not "experiment" with any of the things my white friends did. I struggled so much with . . .
White privilege doesn’t mean what you think it means
There was an article making the rounds this week in which a Princeton freshman does a “take down” of white privilege. It has been widely circulated as some kind of gotcha moment for people to subscribe to the idea that racial inequity is a thing to be concerned with. And while I hesitate to connect issues of racial equality to a political party because I strongly believe that racial reconciliation should be a bi-partisan effort, I’ve been disappointed to see the glee with which certain . . .
State rep Alvin Holmes points out racism in Alabama, adoptive parents freak out
Several of my readers have asked me to weigh in on a controversy going down in Alabama. The backstory: African American state representative Alvin Holmes, who is a democrat, was embroiled in a debate about abortion laws. Some republican representatives suggested that adoption could be a better way to reduce abortions, and Holmes responded that it wouldn’t solve this issue because black children are still much less likely to get adopted than white children. He also accused the pro-life . . .
Best mock signs from the “White Man’s March”
Did you know that last weekend there was a “White Man’s March” across our nation? In a handful of cities, tens of people showed up to hold signs and decry diversity, “promote the interests of white people,” and don their hoods in public. It was a cringe-worthy exercise in xenophobia, and I’ll admit to a bit of glee upon learning that this attempt at rallying white pride across the country was so poorly attended. As photos of the protesters began to circulate, twitter rallied and did what . . .
Children’s book resources for celebrating Black History Month
February is Black History Month, and it's a great opportunity for families of all races to talk to their children about race, civil rights, and the history of African Americans. I’ve curated a list of children’s books that provide historical context to the history of black people in our country as well as highlighting many of our nation's black heroes. I've listed them in order of maturity, starting with simple picture books for young children going up to chapter books for teens. . . .
Is it racist to dress a child up as a character of another race?
In some of the adoption and race forums I belong to, there has been quite a bit of chatter about whether or not children should dress up as characters who are of another race. I actually wrote a post about avoiding racist costumes over at Babble (spoiler alert: blackface is never okay), and I articulated my thoughts on the matter of kids and racially matching costumes: Let your child’s interest determine their costume. Let your child’s preference, not their skin tone, dictate costume . . .
What I want you to know about being a black middle-class suburban mom
What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Micky Jones. I am in your tribe. And I am on the outside of your tribalism*. I am seen. And I am unseen. I’ve lived nearly my entire life as the lone black girl amongst my friends. I am the daughter . . .
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