faking it
If I'm being honest, it is getting increasingly difficult to write about my life in this public space. It's easy to post a funny story about my foibles, or rant about something in the media. But life at home is heavy - probably about as heavy as it has ever been. I've told the story before of how whenever someone is mean to India at school, she comes home and repeats whatever mean phrase she heard to me, in a way to become the aggressor instead of the wounded. It makes her . . .
Sandra Bullock and the complexities of transracial adoption
Since Sandra Bullock announced her adoption of an African American baby, I've seen countless news medias reporting on the "controversy" surrounding transracial adoption. It seems like celebrity adoptions often become the grist for the mill of those who have an agenda to push about transracial adoption. To me, this recent CNN interview is a perfect example of the polarity of thinking when it comes to the practice. Lisa Rollins shares her personal concerns that some white . . .
highs and lows
It's been almost a month since Kembe came home. It's hard to believe . . . it feels like he has been here forever, and yet we still feel like we are in transition mode as a family. I definitely haven't found our "new normal" yet - so far life feels more like a triage situation, where we are just reacting to chaos and crisis as it comes. And it does seem to keep coming. I'm hoping things settle down soon.Our house is finally feeling well. Mostly well, that is. All of us fell sick over the . . .
this.
When Mark and I are "on our game" (which we are not right now), we like to do affirmations with the kids at the dinner table. Generally it involves us going around the table and saying a few things we like about each kid, and a few ways they have made us proud that day. We haven't done this since Kembe came home, and the other night as we were eating it occurred to me that we needed to include him in this tradition. I went around the table, saying the usual things. As we affirmed Jafta, . . .
Et tu, Anderson Cooper?
Dear Anderson,It's me, Kristen. Your #1 fan. I have loved you for a long time. I still do. When you decided to go back to Haiti to continue to tell their story, I was deeply moved. You are everything I appreciate in a journalist: smart, articulate, compassionate, adventurous, and quick-on-your-feet. One of the things I've always enjoyed about your show is your willingness to present multiple layers of complex issues. But last night. Oh, Andy. You made a misstep that had me considering a . . .
prayers for Ronel
My heart is heavy tonight for the adoptive parents who are still waiting to get their children home from Haiti, and for the children who wait in the balance. Since we got Kembert out last week, things have changed dramatically. On January 18th, the US government announced it was granting humanitarian parole for orphans already in the process of adoption. This made perfect sense: these children were shown to be eligible for adoption prior to the earthquake. The Haitian and US government go . . .
degaje
In Haitian Creole, there is a word called "degaje", which basically means to "make it work". We are in serious degaje mode right now. I have always scoffed at the idea that there is any manual that can teach how a mother how to do things the right way. When you are parenting four small children, one of them who speaks another language, there is NO MANUAL. We don't know what the heck we are doing.Our house is pretty much in chaos mode, and the inmates seem to be running the asylum. All . . .
overwhelmed
I am overwhelmed with anxiety as we continue to wait. Things are moving. The embassy is processing the kids in dire need first. As they should.I am overwhelmed with excitement at the thought of having him home.I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends, and even strangers, who advocated on my behalf. I have had touchpoints with my senators, congressmen, and even people in the state department. Thank you for that.I am overwhelmed with love for my two kids who have talked all day about . . .
Parenting with Fear
I was recently reading the blog of another woman adopting from Haiti, and she was describing what it was like to find out she could not adopt a child she was caring for. She described that experience in a painful, honest way that gave me a serious gut check:When we had Sophia with us in May and June, an interesting thing happened.Once we learned that she would not ever be available for adoption it became harder to take care of her. Shallow? Unloving? Immature? Maybe, probably, yes - to all . . .
A Day in the Life at Family Court
Once again, we drove to the courthouse this morning to find out that there was no hearing. Apparently one of the attorneys was out for the day, and our attorney "forgot" to tell us. It's cool. We love taking time and pay off work, hiring sitters, waking at the crack of dawn, and driving the scenic 710 to Los Angeles a couples times a month. They are most likely going to reschedule for August 9th (Mark's birthday), and we have a trip to Seattle planned for that week. So we'll be biting our nails . . .