What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by anonymous. 

When ever the news reports bad weather I think of my father. When everyone is talking about going snowboarding and the latest storm bringing in the fresh snow, I wonder about my father. I wonder where he goes when its raining and cold. When ever I meet someone new, I wonder what they would think if they knew that my father was homeless. What would they think of me? What would they say? I listen to co-workers talk about their dads. “That’s why dads are so great”, they say. I wonder what they would think of my dad. Not who my dad is now but who he used to be. There was a time when he was strong. That time is long gone. Last year my father died and they brought him back to life but never was he the same. He had been living on the streets and not eating, mostly drinking. He died and they brought him back to life. I don’t know who he is now. I talk to him on the phone and I recognize his voice but its changed since he lost some of his teeth. My mother visits him. She drives to Santa Cruz and looks for him on the streets until she finds him. She brings him food and clothing. She is still taking care of him, after everything. She always did provide for him. For him and for us, she was always being a mom. She takes care of him on the weekends and her 98 year old mother during the week. My mother would be homeless if it weren’t for the fact that she lives with my grandmother. Everyone in my life needs someone else to survive. I’m in my thirties now and i’m working full time. I have half a life because I don’t have a father. A father to talk to. A father to celebrate with. It’s always another sad story in my family. My father used to tell me that “someday we’ll take a trip to Hawaii, the whole family! You me, your brother, your mother, everyone”. I don’t know why but even when I was young I knew that was never going to happen. Now i’m sure of it.