That’s what SHE said: finding your food-safety IQ, the guilt behind grandma’s heirlooms, celebrating dads through their hilarious tweets and a whole lot more…

Here are some things I read this week that made me think. (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing.)

10 Things That Changed Me After the Death of a Parent from Lisa via InspireMore


“When you see your friends or even strangers with their mom or dad, you will sometimes be jealous. Envious of the lunch date they have. Downright pissed that your mom can’t plan your baby shower. Big life events are never ever the same again.

Relationship and life strategy coach Lisa Schmidt lost her parents and wrote a powerful tribute to what that truly feels like. She tells of how it’s affected her in the long run and in every day life. She also tells us positive thoughts she still takes away from losing her parents. Her vulnerable story and the wisdom within it are truly inspiring.”


Freeze the miso, rinse the chicken? Test your food-safety knowledge. from Bonnie with the Washington Post

“The FoodKeeper app helps you understand food and beverages storage. It will help you maximize the freshness and quality of items. By doing so you will be able to keep items fresh longer than if they were not stored properly. It was developed by the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, with Cornell University and the Food Marketing Institute.”

See how you do on the Washington Post’s quiz. I got 8/9.

Lots of great information on the USDA site too. 

The sense of sudden liberation that could push you to do something crazy; the worry that you might be acting outlandishly; a flooding of goodwill through the veins that makes you want to hug strangers.

People often think that their personalities change when they’re drunk, and they might even feel very different. But according to new research from the University of Missouri published in May in the journal Clinical Psychological Science, most of that doesn’t show—even when people are closely watched in test conditions by a small battery of trained observers.

12 Hilarious Tweets From The Funny Dads Of Twitter from Valerie with Scary Mommy

“Father’s Day is this weekend, so it’s time to celebrate dads. Well, we kind of always celebrate dads for doing minor things that moms do every day, but we digress. We still love them and need them and they deserve a special day recognizing their contributions.”

“Somewhere along the way, the effort involved in entertaining and hosting dinner parties became too much. We could barely keep up with basic tasks of survival, and the thought of adding extra chores to my list of to-dos — extra grocery shopping, extra cleaning, and extra meal preparation — seemed like too much work. So we stopped hosting casual dinner parties. Instead, we meet friends at restaurants and bars. We have date nights alone. And we save entertaining for special occasions, like birthdays and holidays.

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking a lot about those dinner parties of days gone by. I miss them. I miss my friends. I miss the way conversation unfolds when people sit around a table. About a year ago, I heard about Friday Night Meatballs, and a couple months ago I read an article called “5 Rules for Hosting a Crappy Dinner Party (and Seeing Your Friends More Often),” and I thought: Why am I making this so damn hard? Maybe there’s a way to gather together with friends without the hassles? Maybe there’s a way to socialize without spending my kids’ college fund on babysitters? Maybe there’s a way to have a kick-ass time at a half-ass dinner party?”

Why Poor People Stay Poor: Saving money costs money. Period. from Linda via Slate

“It’s amazing what things that are absolute crises for me are simple annoyances for people with money. Anything can make you lose your apartment, because any unexpected problem that pops up, like they do, can set off that Rube Goldberg device…

Here’s the thing: we know the value of money. We work for ours. If we’re at 10 bucks an hour, we earn 83 cents, before taxes, every five minutes. We know exactly what a dollar’s worth; it’s counted in how many more times you have to duck and bend sideways out the drive through window. Or how many floors you can vacuum, or how many boxes you can fill.”

“For generations, adult children have agreed to take their aging parents’ possessions — whether they wanted them or not. But now, the anti-clutter movement has met the anti-brown-furniture movement, and the combination is sending dining room sets, sterling silver flatware, and knick-knacks straight to thrift stores or the curb.

And feelings are getting hurt, as adult children who are eager to minimize their own belongings — and who may live in small spaces, and entertain less formally than their parents did — are increasingly saying “no thanks” to the family heirlooms.”


That’s what SHE said: an easy and interesting sleep test, wise words from an entertainment titan, a bakery that serves up some bittersweet treats and more….

Here are some things I read this week that made me think. (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing.)

8 Sleep Experts on What to Do When You Can’t Turn Off Your Thoughts at Night from Jessica with the Science of Us

“Some nights, it’s like you can’t get your brain to shut up long enough for you to fall asleep. You’re mentally reviewing the day you just completed while also previewing the day ahead; sometimes, your mind may even reach way back into the archives and pull up something embarrassing you did back in high school. So fun!

Racing thoughts can be a sign of a serious mental health condition like anxiety. But these nights also happen to everyone from time to time — and once we’re too old for bedtime stories, it’s not always

clear what to do. There’s no one solution that will work for everybody, of course, so instead, we’ve rounded up suggestions from eight sleep experts. At the very least, it’s something to read next time you can’t sleep.”

Bonus: a simple test to know if you’re getting enough sleep at night


What are the key elements that REALLY make a house a home? from Rachel with Fresh Design Blog

“Embrace Hygge! Pronounced ‘hoo-gah’, if you’ve not heard about Hygge, where have you been hiding? The Danish-coined phrase almost took over British bookshelves in 2016 and can be translated as ‘cosiness’ in English. It’s all about making your home cosy, indulgent, and most importantly, a relaxing place to settle. This can include everything from replacing cold blinds with warm and cosy ready made curtains to updating the throws and cushions on your sofa. Make your space personal and comfortable, even if it looks a bit messy!”

Create a sense of hygge in your home and make it super cosy

Your 5-year-old is already racially biased. Here’s what you can do about it. by Andrew with Mashable

“- Your new roommate is a Palestinian and Muslim.
– A group of young Black men are walking toward you on the street.
– The young man sitting next to you on the airplane is an Arab.
– Your new suitemates are Mexican.
– Your assigned lab partner is a fundamentalist Christian.

Administrators at Fox Chapel Middle School in Spring Hill, Florida recently fired a teacher who gave her sixth graders an assignment asking them to consider how “comfortable” they would be in the company of various people. Some of the 41 scenarios identified these “others” in terms of race, ethnicity, nationality, or religion.

Many Fox Hill students and parents were upset. “They’re kids. Let kids be kids. Why are they asking kids these questions?” one mother to a seventh-grade student wondered. “I just don’t think it’s something that needs to be brought in school.”

Such sentiments are familiar — and deeply misguided. In the United States, a lot of us believe that children, especially White children, are racial innocents — completely naive, curiously fragile with respect to the realities of race, or both. The truth is that well before their teen years, the vast majority of children are well aware of prevailing biases, and most kids, of all racial stripes, have taken on a bunch of their own.”



My year of saying yes to everything by Shonda Rhimes via TED

“Shonda Rhimes, the titan behind Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder, is responsible for some 70 hours of television per season, and she loves to work. “When I am hard at work, when I am deep in it, there is no other feeling,” she says. She has a name for this feeling: The hum. The hum is a drug, the hum is music, the hum is God’s whisper in her ear. But what happens when it stops? Is she anything besides the hum? In this moving talk, join Rhimes on a journey through her “year of yes” and find out how she got her hum back.”

Why Being Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Being Lonely from Grace with The Everygirl
“You get to be selfish, and being selfish isn’t always a bad thing.


When you remove others from the, “What should I do today?” equation, you get to put yourself first. No more compromising on which movie to see or restaurant to eat at, the decision is always yours. There’s more to it than just getting your own way, though, it’s also about realizing that you can do things on your own and enjoy it just as much. While it may be challenging at first, being independent of others and relying on yourself to seize the day and find happiness is the payoff.

When alone time becomes synonymous with bettering yourself, it will never be unproductive, boring, or lonely again.”

Trolls, eat cake. How one woman is taking aim at online harassers by Sarah with CNN Tech


“Online harassment is pervasive: Nearly half of internet users have experienced harassment or abuse online. And 27% of Americans say they’ve stopped themselves from posting something online for fear of being harassed.

So Thek is whipping up chocolate cakes in her Brooklyn apartment with a troll’s nasty comment colorfully spelled out. For $35, she’ll drop it in the mail with a printout of the original comment….

“It becomes funny when you think about how misdirected and bizarre this anger is and you redirect it in a similarly bizarre, but cheerful, way — like putting it on a cake,” Thek said. “It’s an adult having a tantrum.”

Thek also has a special offer: For $30, she’ll send one of Trump’s tweets to the White House.”


That’s what SHE said: find out your “American Dream” score, learn a few things you might not know about flying with kids, read one man’s personal experience with slavery and another man’s experience as a stay-at-home dad. All that and more….

Here are some things I read this week that made me think. (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing.)


8 surprising rules about flying with children that every parent should know from Caroline with Cool Mom Picks

“Yes, the TSA can dump your breast milk.

This may be old news for experienced jet-setter moms, but it was a surprise to this novice that TSA reserves the right to dispose of a small portion of breastmilk. If you’re carrying more than 3.4 ounces of breastmilk in your carry-on, you’re required to inform the TSA officer.

If you’re lucky, they’ll just run the container through the X-ray machine and send you on your way; but they do have the right to opt for more extensive screening measures including transferring a small quantity to a separate container to test it.

If you refuse? You may be subject to even more screening measures. Another pat-down, whoo! Just what we all want.”


Our Mothers as We Never Saw Them by Edan with The New York Times

“For daughters, these old photos of our mothers feel like both a chasm and a bridge. The woman in the picture is someone other than the woman we know. She is also exactly the person in the photo — still, right now. Finally, we see that the woman we’ve come to think of as Mom — whether she’s nurturing, or disapproving, or thoughtful, or delusional, or pestering, or supportive, or sentimental — is also a mysterious, fun, brave babe.

She’s been here all this time.”

 
   
What’s Your American Dream Score? This Quiz Will Tell You by Eillie with Fast Company

“Cresting the heights of the American Dream is, in the popular imagination, often seen as a matter of brute-force bootstrapping: Who can work the hardest to overcome their odds? Who can persevere in the face of the harshest adversity? The roles of luck, or circumstance, or the invisible marionette strings of the job market and the economy are never considered, McKinnon says. Success in America is a marketed as a man-made phenomenon….

By getting people to think more holistically about the factors that contribute to success, McKinnon wants to break down what he sees as the two most harmful fallouts of the self-made-person mythology that still persists in America.”

Link to the quiz


“She lived with us for 56 years. She raised me and my siblings without pay. I was 11, a typical American kid, before I realized who she was.
To our American neighbors, we were model immigrants, a poster family. They told us so. My father had a law degree, my mother was on her way to becoming a doctor, and my siblings and I got good grades and always said “please” and “thank you.” We never talked about Lola. Our secret went to the core of who we were and, at least for us kids, who we wanted to be.

After my mother died of leukemia, in 1999, Lola came to live with me in a small town north of Seattle. I had a family, a career, a house in the suburbs—the American dream. And then I had a slave.”


The Upside of a Crush—Even If You’re in a Committed Relationship from Jennifer via Goop

Crushing on someone (at any age) can feel equal parts awkward and exciting, particularly when you’re in deep, can’t stop thinking about them for the life of you, and/or the subject of your desire feels like forbidden territory—i.e. he/she is a coworker or you’re already in a committed relationship and “shouldn’t” have a crush in the first place. But psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed, Ph.D. argues there’s no harm in harboring a crush; it doesn’t mean you’re reverting to your teenage self or that your current relationship (if you’re in one) is doomed. Freed says that crushes have a lot to tell us about ourselves—she sees them as rooted in our own unmet needs—and that they can actually serve to kick-start our mojo, even if we never act on them.

FEMINISM DOESN’T MEAN LIKING EVERY STUPID WOMAN YOU MEET from Jennifer with Harper’s Bazaar

“We need to stop confusing feminism with girl power.

Tomi Lahren declared that “The true intention of feminism will be restored when women stop bringing each other down out of jealousy, pettiness and self righteous BS.”

God, I hate women who say bullshit like that.

And that is fine.

Because feminism does not dictate that you are required to like every stupid woman you encounter. Feminism isn’t a hot air balloon designed to lift already privileged ladies to new joyful heights. Those women are thinking of “girl power” or “bootyliciousness” or “domestic feminism”—some other term that was intended to act as a milquetoast substitute for actual feminism.

Feminism is a life raft. Unlike “girl power,” feminism is scary, because it demands change, and does not just entail sexily singing that women are terrific.”


“What began as a simple inside joke between a husband and wife has taken the internet by storm.

Stay-at-home dad Chris Illuminati quit his job to be a full-time parent upon realizing how expensive day care is. When the 39-year-old first began the journey, his wife, Libby, 36, would constantly remind him of tasks he needed to complete while watching their first-born baby.

As a joke, Chris began grabbing post-it notes to write down all of Libby’s instructions, but over time, the notes transformed into silly parenting anecdotes that he would pin all around the house.”


That’s what SHE said: an interesting study on the most racist places in the U.S., safety tips to use with your kids at big events, talking about Memorial Day and lots more great stuff . . .

Here are some things I read this week that made me think. (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing.)


“When we read that 74 percent of moms admit to swearing in front of their kids, our first thought was, “Holy sh*t — what the f*ck do the other 26 percent of moms do?!”

It seems Kraft Mac & Cheese was thinking the exact same thing. The brand created an informational “film” with Melissa Mohr, the mom who literally wrote the book on swearing, to offer up alternative curse words parents can use around their little ones. And, son of a motherless goat, it’s great advice!

Go ahead: watch the video and just try not to let out a good expletive-fueled laugh.”


“Unpack and decorate immediately or live among boxes forever.

Admittedly, this is not something I’ve excelled at in the past. I have been in my current apartment for over seven months now and I still have a few bags of random things squirreled away in closets and drawers. It is, however, a truism of life. This is a time to be aggressive. Push yourself like you’re on American Ninja Warrior. It’ll suck and then it’ll be over and you’ll enjoy the fruits of your labor for a year — maybe even longer, if you are lucky and completely unlike me.”

“So some people are sitting at home by themselves, Googling a bunch of racist stuff. What does it matter? As it turns out, it matters quite a bit. The researchers on the PLOS ONE paper found that racist searches were correlated with higher mortality rates for blacks, even after controlling for a variety of racial and socio-economic variables.

“Results from our study indicate that living in an area characterized by a one standard deviation greater proportion of racist Google searches is associated with an 8.2% increase in the all-cause mortality rate among Blacks,” the authors conclude. Now, of course, Google searches aren’t directly leading to the deaths of African Americans. But previous research has shown that the prevalence of racist attitudes can contribute to poor health and economic outcomes among black residents.”


Your financial ignorance could end up costing you thousands by Constance with USA Today

A recent study by the National Financial Educators Council (NFEC) found that 28.8% of Americans aged 65 or older said their personal lack of knowledge about personal finances caused them to lose $30,000 or more in their lifetimes.

NFEC asked participants across age groups, “Across your entire lifetime, about how much money do you think you have lost because you lacked knowledge about personal finances?” Across all age groups, respondents said their lack of financial knowledge had cost an average of $9,724.83, with nearly a quarter of respondents reporting a loss of $30,000 or more.


One great tip from the list:
Be aware of your credit standing

“Of the college students surveyed, 67% said they were aware of credit reports, and about half had viewed theirs (you can get two of your credit scores, absolutely free, on Credit.com).

The survey also found that those who had experience with credit were far more likely to have viewed their credit report than those without credit experience. For example, 66% of students with credit cards reported having viewed their credit report, compared with 27% of those who did not have a credit card.”


“Use social media. Because we sure will.

If your kids are old enough, they should know your social media handles and be able to put out an APB for you should they be in some sort of mass emergency situation. If they’re not old enough, they can ask someone to post an alert on Twitter or Facebook, where their parents are most likely to be.

Last night featured a plethora of helpers retweeting everything from photos to emergency numbers to call.

Of course it’s more likely that if a parent and child become separated, it will not be an emergency situation.”

“You know what feels like a little bit of a rip-off? Sunday night prep. And I use that term liberally — I’m talking about meal planning, house cleaning, getting a jump-start on your work to-do list, even taking off chippy nail polish and replacing it with a fresh coat. Yes, I do all of these things because they are practical and they’re a good way to ease into Monday morning. I’m not disputing their usefulness — just that we have a limited number of weekend hours at our disposal, and yet we’ve all collectively decided to spend a chunk of them being weekday-style productive. Wouldn’t the weekend feel so much longer if we spent it, well, weekending?”
“Why are there bad guys?

My son’s question caught me by surprise. But it’s a good one to think about on Memorial Day, as anger and nationalism sweep across the world and leaders lean toward the rhetoric of war.

The answer, I believe, begins with fear. Fear is natural. In moderation, it can even be healthy. I don’t know a Marine who didn’t experience fear in combat. If I had known such a man, I would not have wanted to follow him. Courage comes from action in the face of fear, not the absence of it.”

Memorial Day Normandy

That’s what SHE said: how one family’s devastating loss is changing lives, the impact on just one black teacher in a child’s life, the ins and outs of maximalist design and more….

Here are some things I read this week that made me think. (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing.)


“And when Wal-Mart opened stores in Germany, the company also had to tweak its chipper ways to better suit the sober local mores, as The New York Times reported in 2006:

Wal-Mart stopped requiring sales clerks to smile at customers—a practice that some male shoppers interpreted as flirting—and scrapped the morning Wal-Mart chant by staff members.

“People found these things strange; Germans just don’t behave that way,” said Hans-Martin Poschmann, the secretary of the Verdi union, which represents 5,000 Wal-Mart employees here.”


“On Sunday, April 16, the day Keri officially hit full-term at 37 weeks, suddenly, we were in the two-week window. In two weeks, we’d be prepping to welcome our baby girl into the world, and preparing to say goodbye to her. I planned on sitting down that day to write Eva a letter, like I did before Harrison was born, to give him on his 18th birthday. She’d never read it, but I was going to read it to her. Keri didn’t feel Eva move much that morning, but we both brushed it off and went to lunch. We came home, put Harrison down for a nap, and Keri sat down in her favorite spot and prodded Eva to move. She wouldn’t.

We started to worry. Keri got up, walked around, drank cold water, ate some sugary stuff. She sat back down and waited. Maybe that was something? We decided to go to the hospital.

“This is going to be bad, isn’t it?” I said.

Keri erupted into tears and her body shook. I had my answer.”

A few of my favorites:

Having Just One Black Teacher Can Keep Black Kids In School from Anya with NPREd

“In future research, Papageorge hopes to replicate the study and unpack the powerful and long-lasting effects observed. But based on the evidence he already has, he has an immediate policy recommendation. Having just one black teacher in his study made all the difference to students; having two or three didn’t increase the effect significantly. Therefore, schools could work to change student groupings so that every black student gets at least one black teacher by the end of elementary school.

“Should we hire more black teachers?” he asks. “Yeah, probably, but it requires more black college graduates … We could push around rosters tomorrow, change the way we assign kids, and have some effects next school year, not 10 years from now.”

A Letter of Apology to a Son Graduating from College from Kristin via Time

“Years ago I read a parenting book that included this advice: When your child does something amazing, do not say, “I am so proud of you.” Instead say, “You should feel so proud of yourself.” That is a hard habit to break, inserting the parental I and confusing your child’s identity with your own. Forgetting that it’s not about you. Stepping in when you should be stepping back.”

This Is the Worst Way to Clean Before Company Comes Over by Ayn-Monique at Kitchn

“Besides not actually being a cleaning or organizing technique — as I’m just moving the clutter around and not putting it away — my stashing habit, or as Marrero calls it, “The Sweep,” means that junk I’ve tucked away will most likely stay hidden and accumulate.

“Neat does not equal organized,” explains Marrero. “Your space may look better, but behind that pretty facade is a nest of delayed decisions and delayed actions. Your clutter is manifested procrastination!”

Design Dilemma: How to do Maximalism from P. Reynolds on HDF

“According to design enthusiasts, 2017 is the year of the maximalist. It is perhaps an appropriate sign of the times, after all, exaggeration and braggadocio seem to rule the day. Or perhaps maximalism reflects a desire to retreat from the bitter acrimony out in the cold, hard cruel world to our own safe, insulated, highly-curated cocoon. Or then again, perhaps the turn toward maximalism is simply a response to years and years of bland beige. Whatever the reason, maximalism is the word of the moment.

How to do it right? There are just a few basic tenets to keep in mind if you are dipping your toe into maximalism for the first time.”

One great tip: “Use Color. Explosively bright color is a secret weapon in Maximalism. Feel free to paint walls in vibrant hues, to buy jewel tone furniture, or to otherwise indulge in color where you can.”

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