1. Rudy and Sarah think that community organizing is lame. Let’s all mock those who take a paycut to help the less fortunate. Philanthropy is stupid.
2. Anyone who is not a Republican does not put country first.
3. John McCain delivered his speech in front of a green screen, because he knows the Colbert Report will replay it all week with various user-submitted backgrounds. That makes me like him even more. I’m a sucker for a sense of humor, and McCain and Colbert have a funny bit going on. I’m sure it would never be admitted, but I think McCain is a Colbert fan, too.
4. Middle-aged white people like to get their overbite “groove on” during the musical interludes, and many of them went to the same school of dance as my father-in-law.
5. Sarah Palin is a force to be reckoned with, and just may give Obama a run for his money. Her speech rocked the house, and her adorable daughter probably won her even more votes.
6. If you mention autism or special needs, everyone will tearfully pledge their allegience to you. Despite the fact that the GOP “every man for himself” platform historically cuts funding to public assistance.
7. Sarah Palin’s idea of supporting the troops is to leave them over there until we decide we’ve won. Even though Bush already said we did.
8. Did I mention 9/11? Because don’t you dare forget about it.
9. Speaking of 9/11, we should all be scared. Very scared. The world is an unstable place and only John McCain can protect us.
10. However, McCain’s security measures were unable to keep out a half-dozen nutjobs who snuck in protest signs and ripped their shirts off during McCain’s speech.
11. If his 96-year-old mother is any indication, McCain don’t crack.
12. The Republican party is so devoid of Black people that they had to splice in photos of MLK in the 50’s just to get some color on their video montage of inspirational leaders. Seriously. Watch it again. It’s a parade of white guys who are still alive, interrupted by old photos of Martin Luther King.
13. Country First is not in reference to country music. THANK GOD.